


Zombie Resonance

by TheInfamousDoctorF



Category: Call of Duty, Soul Eater, nazi zombies
Genre: Fluff, German lullaby, Humor, Innuendo, M/M, Shapeshifting, bad German accents, extremely over-powered weaponry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 15:44:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1988559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheInfamousDoctorF/pseuds/TheInfamousDoctorF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This silly piece was an outflow of a discussion concerning the basic ideas from the anime Soul Eater. This isn't a crossover with SE characters, it's just what would happen if Tank was one of the SE style weapon-shifters. This fic also contains one of the best sarcastic insults I've ever written. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombie Resonance

Dr. Richtofen had been distracted all day, and trying to compensate for it was wearing out his Allies. The stress had made them all a tad irritable.   
So when the Doctor finally pulled Dempsey aside to talk, he got his hand fiercely swatted away for his trouble.   
Rubbing his bruised knuckles he scowled at the American.   
“What the hell do you want Kraut?”   
Edward scowled back. “I vanted to ask you to help me test a new weapon.”   
“Pfft. If you try to shoot me with ANYTHING I’m going to make you eat your own hat.”  
The Nazi rubbed his forehead, he secretly liked the American, but the man still gave him a raging headache sometimes.   
“I don’t vant to shoot you. I vant you to shoot it for me.”   
Dempsey fixed him with a suspicious look. “Why? Do you think it’s going to explode when you trigger it or sometin’? Why can’t you just do it yourself?”   
Edward sighed, he hated resorting to this, but Tank would obviously not accept any other reason. His reply was low with just a hint of bitterness. “Because I’m not strong enough to pick it up shtupid. I need your 115 enhanced muscles. Happy now?”  
Tank smiled faintly, “yeah, actually.”   
Edward just scowled, spun on his heel and Dempsey trailed along behind him.   
After a bit, he stopped in front of a small room with a pane of reinforced glass next to the door. The room had one window, covered crudely in boards and a rolling table with a large shrouded object.   
Once inside, Edward brushed up against Tank as he came in the door and surreptitiously relieved him of his pistol and knife. And as the American grasped the cloth to remove it, Edward scurried back out the door and locked it behind him.   
Dempsey heard the click of the tumblers and pulled the sheet away as he turned. It was concealing a jumble of small boxes that had been stacked to form an intriguing shape, but nothing more.   
With a roar of rage the American pounded across the room and slammed into the door. Richtofen was standing outside the glass, watching him uncertainly.   
“Let me out of here you Nazi bastard!” Tank hammered a fist against the glass. It spider-webbed a little, but didn’t break. Behind him he heard the tell-tale groan of a zombie tearing the boards off the window, one by one. His pounding became even more urgent when he realized the mad doctor had pick-pocketed his weapons. He turned, his back to the glass, looking urgently around the empty room for anything to use as a weapon.   
“You asshole.” He snarled. “We should never have trusted a filthy, cold, Nazi liar like you!”   
“I vasn’t lying Dempsey.” The German said urgently. “Zhe veapon is in you. It’s more powerful zhen anysing you’ve ever used before. Only mortal danger vill bring it forth.” The Doctor’s eyes were practically alight with anticipation. “You have your target mein uber soldat. Show me vat you can do to it.”   
Dempsey was fuming, but he kept himself from screaming at the infuriating doctor. There was a creak of rigored muscles as the zombie clambered over the sill and shuffled towards him.   
“I’m not doing this for you, understand? I just don’t want to die.”   
Edward nodded eagerly and watched without a single breath as Tank launched himself forward and pummeled the zombie with his fists. He saw out of the corner of his eye that two others were making their way inside and he drove himself harder, punch by punch until he’d caved in the zombies face with his knuckles.   
The other two were runners and he was forced to circle the room to evade their grasping claws. On his third pass a hand reached out of the open window and snagged his jacket, causing him to hiss in pain as he cracked a knee on the floor.   
Edward resisted the urge to throw open the door and revive his downed team-mate. But he knew the experiment would fail if the Marine didn’t really believe he was about to die. He bit his lip in frustration.   
In retrospect even Tank couldn’t explain how it happened. One moment the zombies were all over him, clawing at his face, the next there was a flash of light and his ears were ringing with the din of electricity arcing and flesh exploding. When the sound subsided he noticed an odd heaviness in his right arm and turned apprehensively to check on it. The surreal sight made him scream and he shook the weird device that had replaced his arm from the elbow down as if he could dislodge it somehow.   
With an equally triumphant shout; Richtofen unlocked the door and ran towards him with a crazed expression.   
The thing looked like a gun, so he pointed it at the German, stopping him in his tracks.   
Edward put his hands up. “Easy Dempshey. You don’t really vant to shoot me.”   
His voice shook with confusion, “what the hell is this thing? What did you do to me Goddammit?!”   
Richtofen knelt on the floor, just out of the furious Marine’s reach. “I did nothing, I svear. I wasn’t lying either. You are zhe ultimate veapon Dempshey. Zhe gun is part of you. If you concentrate your whole body will transform into one massive gun. Relax; und it vill go back to normal. Only your will to survive could have called it forth.”  
Tank’s head was spinning, and keeping his metal clad arm pointed at the Nazi was making his shoulder ache. Slowly he lowered the barrel to the floor.   
“May I see?”   
Dempsey gave up; this was all too weird for his tastes. “Whatever Kraut.”  
With a little squeal of elation Edward scooted up close and set to exploring the junction between man and machine. “It’s amazing,” he breathed. “I’ve never seen anything like it. You’re an exquisite specimen Dempshey.”   
The American’s reply dripped with sarcasm. “Gee... Thanks.” He flinched as Richtofen worked his deft fingers up the other man’s arm and began massaging his shoulder. With a little grunt of effort he jammed both hands into the other mans chest and back, causing Tank’s shoulder to pop loudly.   
“Aggh! What the fuck?” And then the pressure released, and with a flash of light, Tank’s arm returned to normal. He flexed his fingers experimentally.   
Edward smiled warmly, “You just have to relax Dempshey, or… have something to bite on… it’s just that easy.”   
The sounds of boots thudding down the hallway announced the arrival of their other two Allies.   
“We saw a light.” Takeo wheezed.   
“Heard you screaming.” Nikolai rumbled. “What is happening here?”   
The Imperial smirked to see the two rivals sitting on the floor so close to one another. “Perhaps they are in need of privacy Nikolai.”   
The Russian just laughed “huh-huh.”  
Richtofen stood up, dusting off his clothes. “Actually I’m glad you two are here, I vant you to see something ve’ve discovered.”  
The burly man just laughed again. “If it’s that you like to be on bottom, Nikolai already guessed.”   
Richtofen wrinkled his lip, but decided to ignore the comment for now. He was in too good of a mood to correct his Allies rude assumption. He turned to Dempsey. “I want them to see you change, if only zho they don’t blame me for it. Just focus on what you were feeling before.”  
“No way Dicktofen.”   
Takeo turned a confused expression towards the American. “What in the worrld are you two talking about?”   
“He can shape-shift into a very large gun,” Edward answered excitedly.   
Nikolai took a pull of his vodka. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”   
Tank folded his arms, “I’m not doing it.”   
His obstinacy was flustering the doctor to no end, and he could feel Takeo staring at him like he’d finally snapped. “Please Dempsey.” He pleaded, “You didn’t even see vat you did to them. It was glorious!” He did his best disarming grin, and offered his hand to the American. “It’ll be fun, I promise!”  
Tank stared at the hand for a long moment, and then looked directly into Edwards glistening green eyes. “Was it really that great?” He said slowly.   
“Look around Dempshey, you turned zhem into burnt chili!”  
The Marine pushed the German’s hand away, “I think I’ll stay on the floor for the moment.”   
“Suit yourself.” Richtofen backed away slightly and bounced lightly on his iron heels in obvious glee. The others just watched expectantly.   
Tank closed his eyes and searched for what he was feeling when the change happened. The roar of the zombies, the pain as they clawed at him, the hammering of his heart… There was a sensation of muscles shifting strangely and a flash of blinding light. He felt slightly strained. As if he were trying to maintain a minor stress posture. He looked up and Richtofen was staring down at him like he was lying flat on the dirty floor.   
The German’s gaze was rapturous. “You’re so beautiful Dempshey.”   
Suddenly Tank realized he was naked. Dark shadows covered his lower half, but he seemed to be floating in a void with a panel before him through which he could see the grinning Nazi doctor.   
“What is it Doctor?” Takeo inquired. “What do you see?”  
“I see Dempshey.” He said simply, “his shtupid face is reflected in the metal, can’t you see him?”   
“I see nothing doctor.”   
“Hey, I’m right here, dammit!” Tank yelled. “What the hell happened?!”   
“You did it Dempshey. Zhe Doctor isch very impressed.” The German glanced around the room and located a tarnished metal tray. He buffed it with his handkerchief and tilted it so Tank could see his reflection.   
It was a big gun, even larger then the Death Machine. And while it somewhat resembled said device, it also had components similar to both the Wunderwaffe and ThunderGun.   
Edward turned to Takeo, indicating he should try wielding the massive device. The imperial shrugged and moved to pick it up.   
But no matter how he grunted and strained, the thing didn’t move an inch, it seemed glued to the floor.   
Nikolai laughed at the little Japanese man. “You’re such a wimp Takeo.”  
“Shut up honor-less drunk! Do you think you can do better?”  
“Yeah, I do!” Nikolai muscled his erstwhile ally out of the way and grabbed the gun. He was able to lift it but after a few seconds he dropped it with a scream of pain. “It’s too fucking hot. What the hell?!”   
Edward rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Zhis is weird. I vonder why you two can’t hold him?”   
“Perhaps we are not compatible in some way doctor?” Takeo replied, “why don’t you give it a try?”   
“Me? Haha! Ja right. Look at me dummkoff, I don’t have the 115 in me, I’m not uber strong like you two. I can’t pick Dempshey up normally, let alone as two tons of metal.”  
Takeo gave him a little pat on the shoulder, “just try, I think this may be about more then strength.”   
“All right, all right. Zhis is going to be pathetisch.” Edward stretched a little and then bent his knees to try and lift the gun that was also Tank inside.   
The weapon practically flew into his hands and he almost fell over from shock. He held it for a moment, expecting a burn, but the gun stayed cool and feather-light in his hands.   
He looked down at the reflection of Dempsey, “your hands are cold Doc.”  
Edward just smiled wickedly, “oh, but your barrel feels so good in mein hands.”  
Nikolai rolled his eyes. “I think I’m going to be sick.”   
Takeo smiled faintly, “at least they seem to have declared a truce for the moment.”  
The Doctor turned with the huge weapon as if it were nothing and marched purposefully out of the room with it. “Come vith me gentlemen. Let’s find somezing to KILL.” 

****************************************

They were barely outside before Richtofen got his wish. There was quite a horde of zombies already waiting for them. But after a few rounds from Tank’s barrel there were none at all. The palm sized bullets impacted each undead with an electrical charge that sent them seizing and flying. When they hit the ground they literally exploded into smoking, bloody chunks.   
The Doctor couldn’t stop laughing, it was high and crazy and after a moment it seemed to infect Dempsey with the same wild mirth. It was as if their life-forces were flowing together with each barrage of sizzling lead.   
Takeo and Nikolai took out a few undead, but soon realized that Richtofen and Dempsey could handle it alone. The two of them walked up the stairs to the teleporter and sat down on the top step. Every few minutes Richtofen would run by, still holding Dempsey, firing in every direction. After the third pass the unlikely pair realized that the zombies were now running AWAY from the mad doctor and his American weapon.   
Takeo let a small smile creep onto his face. “Ahh, so nice to see them not trying to kill each other for a change.” His ears perked up at the unfamiliar sound of Richtofen actually singing at the top of his lungs. The German words rang from every wall of the factory.   
“Du du liegst mir im herzen   
Du du liegst mir im sinn  
Du du machst mir viel schmerzen   
Weibt nicht wie gut ich dir bin   
Ja ja   
Ja ja  
Weibt nicht wie gut ich dir bin!”  
A couple of zombies coming around the corner noticed the Japanese and the Russian sitting placidly and shambled towards the bottom step.   
“I don’t think so freakbags!” Dempsey yelled in elation. He would never flat out admit it, but he was actually having fun. It seemed like as long as Richtofen carried him he’d never run out of bullets again. The projectiles were a mixture of his own force of will and the electricity in the mad doctors soul.   
And the doctor was insanely happy, his grip was light on the trigger, but the tiniest touch was all that was needed. And in moments the zombies had gone from being a threatening horde, to being a series of smoking, bloody smears on the pavement.   
“Stupid show-off American.” Nikolai grumbled. “Hey Richtofen,” he hollered. “What happens if you stick Capitalist weapon in the Pack-A-Punch machine? Does he shoot exploding furniture?!”   
Dempsey’s reply was so loud it made Richtofen’s ears ring. “NO FUCKING WAY!”   
“Ach, it’s okay Dempshey.” His whisper was thick and conspiratorial, “you’re far too big for zat.” His gloved fingers caressed the cool metal worshipfully and Tank felt his face heat up in a blush.   
Nikolai cleared his throat. “So is the Nazi and Capitalist duo going to let their poor Allies score some points?”  
Richtofen looked a little stunned. “Oh, ja. Sure. Ve can, go up on zhe roof or somezing. Give you two a chance.”  
When the doctor volunteered to go away for a while Tank realized just how fatigued he actually was. He was pretty sure only the doctor could hear him, but he said it loud anyway. “That works, then you can show me how to get out of this contraption. My muscles are cramping like I’ve been doing push-ups and squats all day.”

****************************************

It was a good thing that Tank’s weapon form weighted almost nothing, because it was a long flight of stairs to get to the top of the main factory building in Der Reise.   
Finally the doctor was able to get to the hall he wanted and fished around in his coat for a small, tarnished key to a closed door.   
“Aww, you gonna show me where you usually hide out Doc? I’d always wondered where you slunk off too during the day. Edward said nothing, but walked into the small room and locked the door behind him. The space was bare apart from a makeshift bed of piled sacks and some boxes that had been topped with an old door to make a crude desk and chair. Richtofen sat down on the edge of the pile and pulled off his boots.   
Tank clattered himself against the floor. “Little help here? Now please!”   
Edward grabbed the gun and pulled it close, so he was eye to eye with Dempsey’s reflection. “I told you; you just have to relax. I know it’s not second nature to you Americans, but you’ll have to try.”   
He pulled the weapon upright, the gigantic barrel pointed skyward with the stock resting on the floor. Richtofen rocked forward onto his knees and wrapped his pale arms around the gun. "Can you feel my handz Dempshey? Can you feel me warm against you? Focus on zhe warmpth. Only skin can feel it properly.”  
Tank wasn’t sure how he felt about the doctor wrapped around him like that, but he needed very badly to change back. So he closed his eyes and felt around in the inky black room for the faint sound of Richtofen’s heartbeat.   
Suddenly there was a flash of light and he felt the pressure release from around his aching body. Human again, he found himself snuggled against Edward, who was still on his knees holding his now un-gunned teammate in his arms. The doctor’s tongue flicked out and brushed against his neck and he flinched. Richtofen let go of him with a giggle. “Just checking zat your sensitivity had returned completely Dempshey.”   
Tank let himself down from his knees and sat on the floor. Richtofen had removed his hat and harness and arranged himself comfortably on the lower part of the pile. He stretched his arms wide, his jaw popping as he gave a slow yawn. He noticed the marine looking at him and his expression turned a little unsure.   
“You’re not still planning to beat me up, are you Dempshey? I sink ve’ve had a good day, and I’m too tired to fight vith you. For now; zhe doctor prescribes rest.”  
Tank thought for a long moment before answering, “I guess I just have a lot on my mind. But I’m not in the mood to fight either. I’m tired as hell Richtofen.”   
“Zhen pull up a sack.” He patted the space beside him. “Such a magnificent veapon deserves some healing sleep.”   
“Don’t call me that, I’m still a person you know?   
Richtofen gave a little snort. “Und I’m just a lying Nazi, remember?” He waived the comment away with a gloved hand. “Life is easier vith no feelings Dempshey. Zhen no one can hurt you.” And leaving the blonde soldier to ponder that remark, Richtofen curled into a little ball and closed his eyes.   
Tank watched him for a moment, but it seemed that Edward wasn’t pretending. After a few minutes he let out a soft snore, and his facial muscles relaxed into a slightly pained expression.   
With a shrug Dempsey shed his bandolier and crawled up onto the pile of sacks behind the German. He lay down on his back and listened to the faint sound of zombies being slaughtered by their comrades, and the whistle of a gentle breeze through a hole in the window. The white noise was making his eyelids feel so heavy.   
Just as he was drifting off he felt a little warmth and pressure on his side. He forced one eye open and saw that Richtofen had scooted up next to him with his back to the marine.   
He chuckled inwardly. ‘No feelings; my ass.’ And then; “I liked that love song you were singing earlier Doc.” He ruffled the Germans perfect hair gently.  
Edward was just glad he was facing away so Dempsey didn’t see him blush.  
Lazily Tank rolled over and tossed an arm over the skinny German’s side; pulling him close to the American’s warm chest. After a moment of hesitation, Richtofen seemed to melt into his embrace, his brow smoothing as he smiled; eyes still closed.   
“Good night Doc.”


End file.
